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Writer's pictureJennifer

The Anxiety of (and antidote to) Impermanence


Hey there. It’s been a while… ;-)


Summer is coming to a close; a few of the leaves on the peach tree are starting to turn a golden hue; the basil, oregano and thyme have all bolted, and if I'm being completely honest, the tomato leaves are starting to look a bit "sketch." The mornings have a slight chill, but the afternoons are still just as roasty-toasty as one would expect for a mid-August day. The crows are sensing a change in the air, the squirrel is stocking its stores for the winter, and the hummingbirds (which totally sound like something from the old 1960s “Jetsons” cartoon, by the way) are whizzing to and fro, fighting with their tiny "light sabers" over what’s left of the trumpet vines. Beauty abounds.


Meanwhile, we’re told that this weekend, a hurricane (?!) is headed for the West Coast for the first time in The History of Ever. Simultaneously, Maui is on fire, as is much of California, Oregon, and Canada. The 5th anniversary of the Camp Fire looms large on the horizon this November, and it’s the second anniversary already of both the Dixie and Caldor Fires this very month. Wherever we turn, there's so much loss, so much devastation. Like waiting for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop, if we’re not careful, it’s enough to send us into a pit of anticipatory despair.


…So what’s a thinking, feeling person to do?


Be present. Be completely present with what currently is.


By all means, it’s absolutely appropriate (and necessary) to prepare for the potential of what might reasonably be, but if we allow those potentialities to consume us with sadness and immobilize us in despair, we miss out on what it really means to live. That which we love and treasure then becomes a prison constructed of imagined inevitable pain, the future dims and become suffocating; we close ourselves off from the world, numbing ourselves from feeling anything at all as a preemptive measure against pain – just in case it’s all taken away... someday.


In this human life, there is SO much uncertainty, and we can’t possibly prepare for or anticipate all that might not go according to plan. Control outside of oneself is illusory. We must do what we can, while we can – trusting ourselves in our ability to respond appropriately to what a given situation presents. In equal measure, we must also trust in our resilience to overcome and rise above what seems unfathomable far in advance of any potential future reality. Bad things do happen; you will be okay despite them. Integrating the tragedy into the patchwork quilt of your life, a new, stronger version of you will emerge, the cracks created by the pain eventually mended with gold and a story to tell.


Take a moment and look at all that’s around you. See the colors, textures and movement (or stillness). Feel the air against your skin, and entering in and out of your nostrils. Sense the pull of gravity upon your body. Find where your tongue rests in relation to your teeth. Truly allow yourself to take in every bit of your surroundings with all of your senses. Take a deep, expansive, cleansing breath and be nowhere but this present moment, and slowly exhale with profound gratitude. In this moment, you are here. You are okay.


Photo credit: https://www.lifegate.com/kintsugi



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